


#spacehomos

by Enk



Series: Astro Boys in Love [1]
Category: Marvel
Genre: Alternative Universe - NASA, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, NASA, space sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 16:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5134907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enk/pseuds/Enk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The year is 2021 and Tony shouldn't be piloting a spacecraft around the moon and dock at the International Space Station where his still-a-secret life partner has a month left on his mission before returning to space, but here he is. Apart for eight months and almost completely out of contact for six of them, the barely 48 hours Tony and Loki have together are not enough to catch up and work through the anxieties of their relationship. </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer, this is a transformative work and I own nothing. It is a continuing love letter to NASA, the space exploration program, and the International Space Station. Really, it's a love letter to humans in space, frostiron style. I've tried to research every single detail about living aboard a space station, NASA protocols, vehicles, even sex in space (sure did attend a two-hour panel on that topic). If there is anything I've gotten outright wrong, please let me know and I will correct my mistake.
> 
> Written for the frostironbang on tumblr, please check out the fantastic art lostinthebabylon made [here](http://lostinthebabylon.tumblr.com/post/132489410285/the-year-is-2021-and-tony-shouldnt-be-piloting-a)

“Good morning, brother, rise and shine.” Thor's voice rings in Loki's ears. By the gods, they brought his brother onto medical. It's too early to deal with that. To be honest, it's always too early to deal with Thor.

  
“Yes, I'm awake.” He reports as he opens his sleeping bag. “Proceeding with morning routine.” It's best to be detached with these things. Mission control likely thinks that he would cherish the voice of a loved one on a morning of what will be a very long day. He knows why. For the past two months, just him and Natasha, of course they believe he would like more interaction with his family. They're wrong, he thinks as he grabs his tooth brush from his bag, but that doesn't matter today. Today they get to watch an ex-drunk fly the Orion capsule around the moon and into the sun. Ideally not that last part, but he knows Stark was a last minute replacement. He knows Stark's track record. He also knows what Stark is capable of when he sets his mind to it. He swallows the toothpaste and finishes his morning routine before heading to breakfast with Romanov. It's the only time he sees her until supper. Two people on station means two people are extraordinarily busy.

  
They were supposed to be six, well five after Banner's sudden development of what appeared to be radiation-related sickness had ended his stay after only a month aboard station. The previous crew had left aboard a Soyuz, and their replacements had fallen ill in a measles outbreak six months ago unable to finish their training. The next crew would launch in another three weeks, well ahead of schedule. Neither he nor Romanov were particularly social people, but after two months of isolation, it would be good to see other faces. And Anthony Stark would have to tide them over until then.  
“Good news, Odinson,” Romanov greets him with a smile, “I found a can of peaches stashed with spare power nodes in Zarya.”

“Why were you looking for power nodes?” Loki settles into his spot around the table against the bulkhead.

  
“Wasn't.” She gently guides the can towards him. “Was looking for can of peaches. There's one more according to the manifest and I will find it.”

  
To the layman, it is just peaches suspended in sugar water. Something that can be picked up at any supermarket. However, when every space agency had deemed them too unhealthy, too messy, and too bulky to be brought up any longer, it had turned into somewhat of a currency for a while. Crew would bring peaches in their personal belongings and trade them for pretty much anything. Two years later, a limited amount of canned peaches were reinstated on the supply manifests and after the last cargo docking, before the Soyuz crew had left, they'd disappeared.  
It's messy opening the peaches, definitely a two-person job with one tightly wrapping a plastic bag over the hands of the other while the other uses a can opener from the Russian section to open the can just enough to drain the liquid into the bag and keep the peach slices inside it. It takes close to twenty minutes for them to finish, but the bounty is worth the wait when with sticky fingers, Loki pulls a peach slice from the can and savours the flavour as he chews.

 

***

  
The day is a long one. They’ve woken two hours early and when they’ll go to bed, well, that’s entirely up to Stark’s launch. Natasha and Loki will have to work extra hard to make up for what time they’ll lose watching the launch and subsequent approach in four days. It’s worth it, even with only two people aboard. Natasha knows this and she knows Loki knows this as well. Otherwise, he never would have insisted on keeping the launch date. NASA had given them final call on whether or not to keep the initial launch date. They had two other windows, but those were well after their expedition came to a conclusion. She cycles through the priority experiments as efficiently as she can. Turns out a double espresso and some canned peaches make her more efficient and she manages to take care of a few student experiments as well.

  
“Hey Houston,” she calls well before midday on an off-public channel. “I’ve finished dailies and am going to move on to docking prep with Odinson.”

  
“Station, this is Houston,” Maria Hill’s voice is calm over the comm. Calm before the storm. Calm before both cheers and cries of joy and accomplishment or the silence of setback. “Go ahead, and a routine reminder- which I’m sure you already know- that medical recommends a couple of extra snacks or meals today. Can’t run on coffee and peaches alone.”

  
“Well,” Natasha smiles a little as she pushes off her work station toward the eating area in the Russian segment. “How is the countdown going?”

  
“Nominal, no weather delays anticipated. It’s a beautiful day in Florida.”

  
“How’s the capsule?”

  
“Orion looks great. We’ll patch the launch through once we are at T -17.”

  
“Good to see Stark is taking my ride to Mars out for a spin.”

  
“Let’s make sure she goes around the moon first.”

  
“And makes a pit stop here, we’re on the last coffee rations.”

  
“You know with only two of you up there, those rations should have lasted a lot longer.”

  
“Don’t worry.” Natasha opens a package of tortillas and a can of meat spread. “We have enough grapefruit drink and creamed spinach for the next six crew changes.”

  
“So that’s why you’re on a private channel.” Natasha can hear Maria smile. “So the future crews won’t know what you’ve done.”

  
“Can’t I have a chat with my best friend without the world knowing?” She licks some meat spread off her fingers and disposes of the packaging. “Besides Loki is on open comm. No one cares about me, because he’s just so dreamy.”

  
They both chuckle. Loki definitely has a following like he’s a member of a 90s boy band. It had seemed off-putting at first, especially to Loki, but after a while, it became hilarious. Maybe not to Loki, at least not at first. Natasha still thinks the whole apprehensive-about-fame shtick is exactly that, a pretense. Secretly, the guy loves being adored. He’ll be the second one in line to sign up for Mars training, because that’s the fame crew. If he’d be in it 100% for the science, he’d be training to probe an asteroid right now, but he isn’t. He’s here.  
And so is Natasha. They’re both in it for the long game, the long plan which will get them exactly where they want to be: on the Mars crew. She knows they’re building the engines. She knows six months after she steps foot back on Earth, they’ll make the announcement of a test flight and by this time in two years, they’re taking sign-ups for mission training. And she’ll be there. And she’ll make it through the training. She’ll pass all their psych tests and after four months in space she will be the first person to set foot on Mars. She’ll be the first woman whose first words on another world will be remembered for generations to come. She will matter and leave her mark on humankind.  
But first, they’re going to have to dock Stark and his cargo to make sure she has a ride to Mars and enough coffee to make it to the end of the mission.

  
***

  
It's 2021 and Tony shouldn't be a pilot. He shouldn't even be in a car, technically. The last place he should be is strapped to a test flight around the moon, to the ISS, and back. Apparently, they need someone expendable, someone who can be blamed when shit goes wrong. Since it's a solo mission, he's pretty sure Houston expects him to take a wrong turn and fly the capsule into the sun. Barnes at least had a co-pilot, but Tony doesn't complain. Not that he needs the money, but people started to forget the name Tony Stark and former astronaut only goes so far these days what with the Mars training program under way.

  
Here he is, paving the future for those young and dashing heroes who will make their way to new frontiers, get laid for the rest of their lives, and just are so damn cool. He's had the shit end of the stick. No one cared about astronauts and space travel for the past twenty-odd years. Now here he is tracing the footsteps of heroes who made it to the moon on processors who are now too slow to power a smart phone. Somebody's got to do it. Might as well be him. If he blows up, there will at least be a dozen high schools named after him.

  
"All pressure gauges read nominal." He reports. They are, he's past Max Q already, once this baby settles into orbit, it's really just a matter of pushing buttons at the right time. A monkey could be trained to do this or an ex-alcoholic washed-up former shuttle pilot hotshot looking for some semblance of redemption.

  
He's way into his head, so much so, he misses the first moment of weightlessness. The first moment of freedom from gravity. He used to hold his breath until it happened and now he'd just missed it because he'd be stuck inside his own head. A deep breath, Tony closes his eyes for a moment as he feels for his comm button. He needs a moment of silence. A moment to watch the Earth beneath him, space, endless space above him. He feels his weight against the straps that buckle him in. The other five seats are empty. It's just him. And right now, it's just him and the endlessness of space.  
"Sir," he hears Jarvis whisper on another channel, "if you are quite ready, we can continue the mission."

  
"Thanks buddy," he looks at the clock. Jarvis had given him almost half an hour, nearly an entire rotation to take everything in. "Two more rotations and we should be at the right angle to test these thrusters."

  
"Your trajectory does look nominal." They used to work together all the time. Tony flying into space and Jarvis back on Earth in the control room. He'd come out of retirement for Tony's mission and probably is the reason Tony's got one last flight in space, expendable or not. Now that he's out here, Tony knows he needed this more than anything else.

  
"Ready to run through steps 17 through 37 on this rotation." Tony flips open the instructions. He should have had two years of training on this. He's had six months and that is something the public- eager and watching his every movement right now- is never going to know this. Even if he does end up accidentally flying this thing into the sun.

  
  
***

  
Calibrations run well within parameter. Far better than expected in fact, but Natasha gives a little extra time before reporting their status. If she gets everything done well ahead of schedule, they might recommend a nap. Like she could sleep on a day like today. They’re calm. All of them are calm and professional, but it’s a thin layer reigning in the excitement and Stark’s outstanding launch is eroding that layer quickly. It was a perfect launch. There was a trajectory margin of error on either side of perfect and he didn’t just hit it on the nose, he had less degrees of trajectory deviation than any of the projected outcomes for his flight. The backup program to make any course corrections had yet to make any course corrections. There are legends of Tony 'Rocket Man' Stark for a reason.

  
“Say what you will about Stark,” she says as they watch the launch with a snack of grits in lieu of popcorn, “he’s a damn fine pilot when he’s sober.”

  
Loki makes a non-committal noise. “He’d say he makes an even better pilot with a bottle of Scotch in his lap.”

  
“He’s,” she wants to crack a joke, but there’s something in Loki’s face she can’t quite read, so she drops it. “He’s doing fine without it.”

  
“Are we sure he isn’t going to end up pointing the whole thing at sun?” There’s a hint of a smile playing around Loki’s face when the camera switches to the Orion interior.

  
“He better not.” Natasha looks at Loki rather than the screen. “That’s my ride and she looks pretty comfortable.”

  
“Your ride?”

  
“I suppose yours as well if you apply.”

  
“If?” Loki looks at her, working hard to suppress that smile of his. “I do appreciate the confidence that should I apply I would make it.”

  
When Stark is taken off comms, or rather off comms they can hear, it’s back to work. They’ve got a long day. Tomorrow will be longer, then a rest day, and then they won’t be sleeping until Stark floats through the docking hatch at the end of Day Four. It goes by fast. Loki and Natasha have so much to do, there isn’t a lot of time to devote to checking in on Stark’s mission.


	2. Two

“Capture confirmed.” Tony exhales a breath he only now realizes he's been holding. Every part of him is tense in his harness, but when Romanov’s voice comes over the speakers again, telling him to give them half an hour so they can get the hatch opened, he closes his eyes and opens the harness. Weightlessness, it had been hard to enjoy any of it straps pulled tight across his chest, while he’d been flung around the moon. Around the fucking moon. 

He lets go and allows himself to float around the cabin, to just be, and for the first time in a long time, he feels at peace. He feels accomplished and most of all, he feels proud of himself. And that’s something he definitely hasn’t felt in more than a decade. He ignores the nagging feeling in the depth of his guts and in the back of his head. Not now, and maybe never again. He’s too busy taking in the moment. He’s done something no one else has. He’s just fucking seen the surface of the moon, seen where Armstrong and co. left all their shit before heading back to Earth. Most people don’t even see that through a telescope. It'll take days, weeks, months for his brain to process the magnitude of what he's seen. 

“Hey Stark,” Natasha’s voice is back over the comm. It’s private comms. “You ready to do this?”

“Pretty sure I just did a thing that's so awesome, we can agree that I was born ready.” He replies with a smile and switches to the public channel. Give the people what they crave and right now, they crave one thing only: Tony 'Fucking Rocket Man' Stark: “Orion ready for hatch opening.”

It’s smooth, the hatch opening on his side, and it’s smooth when Natasha opens the hatch to Station. So, Tony tucks his aviators behind his ears, because trademark and all that and floats into the station wearing a Black Sabbath shirt they’ll have to blur out, but he doesn’t care. On the other side, he notices Natasha suppress a smirk while Loki films the whole thing. Of course he would hide behind a camera.

“Please, fellas,” he throws a peace sign, “no autographs, but a few pictures are okay.” He does manage to pose without looking like he hasn’t been in space since there still was a shuttle program. Sure, by now his meticulously sculpted goatee is more of an all over scuff, but the idea is there. He’ll have to invent some kind of precision razor for future space travels. He’s an engineer after all. Time to start making things that matter.

“We’re off air, you can stop posturing, Stark.” Natasha closes the wall panel beside the hatch and pushes herself up. “Great job though, I'm certain no one noticed your fly open the whole time.”

Tony falls for it. He looks down and Natasha chuckles. Fair enough, he thinks to himself, he’s visiting crew after all. Or maybe it’s just because it’s him. He can live with that, too. 

“Nice place,” he looks around, “bigger than when I was here last.”

“They actually finished the station while you were gone and gave us some inflatable modules. So that’s pretty neat.” Tony looks at Natasha, but his attention is on Loki who still hasn’t said anything beyond the on-camera congratulations and hand shake. That’s not real though. That’s put on for the public. Loki is as on as Tony is, knows how to play his audience just like Tony does, but he still hasn’t said anything else. 

Of course Tony isn’t worried. Why would he be? He’s confident that talking only a handful of times in six months hasn’t changed anything. It isn’t supposed to. They have an agreement. Or at least they did. Nothing would have changed. Besides, it’s not like there’s been anyone else for either of them unless Loki had suddenly developed a thing for Romanov which Tony highly doubts. Those two have been best friends since before he’s met either of them and Loki- despite how he acts in front of cameras- is still only into guys. But six months is a long time and before that it’s been even longer what with Loki training and-

“I get it, we have a great hallway, but I’m tired and want supper and then bed,” Loki tugs on Tony’s shirt, “come on, I’ll show you the place.” That’s about as chatty as he gets before he floats into another module, apparently assuming Tony will just follow. He’s not wrong because it’s follow him or Romanov and she’s already talking to Houston about an event tomorrow morning and hello school children, yeah he’s forgot about that part and before she can turn to talk to him, he pushes himself off a handle bar and floats after Loki. 

“Nice view,” Tony says after he’s floated through the Destiny module and into the cupola, “bit tight but the view is still worth it.” 

“It was a lot smaller when you were here last.” Loki says beside Tony, mostly still. Unlike Tony, he’s been here for nearly a year and doesn’t need to shift to hold his bearings. 

“They trained me on the mock-up, but it’s not the same. It’s technically identical, but walking isn’t this.” He takes a deep breath. “This is different.”

“Indeed.” Loki says nothing else. It’s fucking hard to read the guy on a regular basis, let alone now. 

“I’m beat,” Tony finally sighs. “Wanna show me my bunk so we can get to sleep?”

Technically, Tony can sleep anywhere he wants, even back in Orion, though it’s possible Romanov’s testing it for future purposes. Or maybe she’s flying off to Mars with it. Tony is too tired to contemplate. He’d planned on using the whole tired thing as a pretense to make things less awkward, but fatigue hits him hard and without warning. No pretense, just wanting to close his eyes for eight hours. 

“Habitation module,” Loki says when he stops again, “only cameras in here are the ones we bring, only comms are the wall ones we have to activate on the panel over there.”

“Probably a good thing considering the bathroom’s in here, too.” Tony chuckles and Loki gives him a look.   
“I have not activated any communications panels.” 

“Do you want me to, if you nee-“

“Anthony,” Loki is close, holding onto the bulkhead above them, “you’re an idiot.”

Oh.

There’s no crackling tension between them, no air so thick they could cut it, nothing so poetic. They’re both fucking tired and keeping a pretense of a professional friendship 24/7 is fucking hard. So when Tony grabs the bulkhead beside Loki’s hand and their skin touches, he doesn’t gasp or startle or whatever else kind of romance novel crap he could be feeling. Instead, he smiles.

“Sorry, kit, thought you actually just meant to show me my bunk.”

Loki raises an eyebrow and Tony’s pretty sure they’re supposed to kiss now. They don’t and that brings back a pang of worry. Maybe the guy wants to play hard to get or maybe he is tired and just wanted to make sure Tony knew- fuck it, carpe diem and all that. He leans in for a kiss with a little more gusto than he’d intended.

As it turns out, kissing in space is a lot harder than Tony had thought. It’s not that Loki avoids the kiss, but Newton’s an asshole and their teeth click together so hard that Tony winces in pain and loses his already precarious grip on the bulkhead. Which means he loses the stance he’s had and not very gracefully floats away trying to grip things that won’t beep angrily if he does, which of course ends with him pushing himself away from his position beside Loki. And Loki? The asshole braces himself and laughs as Tony ends up settled in a corner on the opposite end of the module. Well that’s just great. Trying to frown at Loki whose head tilts back as he laughs is impossible and Tony just finds himself joining the laughter.

“Don’t move.” Loki instructs and looks into the module behind them. No Natasha yet, Tony assumes when the guy turns back around and pushes himself off and fucking elegant like he was born in space glides beside Tony and comes to a calculated halt a mere inch away from his face. “Much better.” He says and tucks his feet in places Tony can’t see right now, but he knows he’s pinned into the corner and perfectly okay with it when he feels Loki press against him? Ah yeah, there is the flutter in his stomach and the tension in the air. This time, Loki isn’t on for cameras, this is how he is, intensity and all. 

“Miss me?” He whispers in Tony’s ear and when his lips barely brush the skin of Tony’s ear, he curls them into a smile. “I think you did.”

“Fuck you.” It’s all Tony can manage with a croak. Of course he’d imagined their reunion almost with the obsession of a teenager imagining meetings with their favourite celebrities. He’ll never admit it with words, but he feels his body is about to betray him. 

“What if that’s the plan?” That fucking hushed whisper feels like an electric current running from his ear straight to his dick. Tony’s mouth goes completely dry as he forgets all the stress, all the insanity of the past week. Shit. 

He tries to form a thought he can maybe turn into words, but it’s nearly impossible. He’s pinned in the corner of a fucking space station by the man he- he’s not allowed to finish the thought when Loki pulls back just the fraction of an inch and looks at him with those ridiculously blue eyes. Thinking? It's overrated. Instead, he lets his body take the lead and catches Loki’s gaze. 

“Best to get on with it while you have me here then.” Tony’s voice is husky and rough and instead of allowing Loki to reply, he leans forward. Slower this time. Slow enough to keep inertia from taking hold, slow enough to keep him firmly pinned against the corner of the bulkhead. 

He's glad he's had close to a week- well four days, close enough- in space already and his sinuses are clear and he doesn't feel like crap anymore. He feels even better when his lips finally capture Loki's, slow, gentle, in all the ways he doesn't want to be kissing him right now, but hell, there's no gravity to keep them together. No gravity also means it doesn't matter that Loki has a good half foot on him. All in all, he's content with how things are going down, especially when he feels Loki's tongue drag across his lips and somehow manages to push himself up to wedge his thigh firmly between Tony's legs. 

The noise Tony makes isn't very dignified but fuck, it's been so god damned long. Monogamy is hard, he thinks, and immediately regrets the thought when Loki kisses him deep and slow and fuck, every hair on Tony's body stands, every cell of him feels alive. He dares to let go of one of whatever he's been holding on to so he can pull the hair tie from Loki's ponytail and card his hands through the guy's hair. Gods, he hasn't been touched in so fucking long. 

"Yeah," he pants when they break the kiss, "yeah I fucking missed you." Of course he did, not in ways people expect, really he can't. Telling his space boyfriend that he misses him every day, which just creates guilt and guilt is bad. He's got enough of that already. He missed Loki. Six months of hard and fast training to fly a major mission distracts enough, but at the end of the day, he'd still been on Earth and Loki has still been in space. And to be honest, Tony missed space just as much. 

"Good." Loki pauses and readjusts and for a moment he pushes up his weight and unintentionally- or maybe with as much intent as he could possibly muster- his thigh pushes up against Tony in ways that-

"Fuck." Tony all but moans when his hips buck up against Loki and Loki pushes back with a smile and for a moment, it's just fine that the first thing he does on station is to shamelessly grind himself on Loki's thigh. He's missed the touches, how Loki knows exactly what he needs. None of this comes even close to jacking off in the hot tub. They have a perfect rhythm for exactly as long as it takes Tony to slip and when Loki tries to compensate, he gets an elbow in the jaw. 

"Aw fuck, are you okay?" Tony lets go just for a moment and finds himself floating on level with Loki's hip. Loki who is holding his face with one hand and still clinging to the wall with the other, laughing so hard he's close to tears. "Yeah, you're okay." Tony joins the laughter and pulls himself up to be level with Loki's face. 

"We're astronauts," Loki manages to choke out, "we should know better than this."

"I don't know," Tony smiles and manages to perch himself in front of Loki. "NASA likes to skip this part and pretend it doesn't exist."

"Because we're professionals up here," Natasha doesn't look like she just floated into the module. No, she looks like she's been here for a while and rather entertained by the whole situation. "Come on, Romeos, it's dinner time and Houston wants us to film it."

"Well, I hope you weren't keeping us a secret from her." Tony's smirk earns him a bite on the jaw and a kiss under the eye. "Don't those sleeping bags fit two? Tell me they fit two. We can skip dinner. We can skip everything, just hang ourselves somewhere and catch up."

For a brief moment, it looks like Loki's game, but the bruise on his jaw is blossoming and Tony feels kind of bad. And of course, outside of the module, Natasha clears her throat rather loudly. No, the moment's passed even though the blood in Tony’s dick hasn't gotten the memo yet. Maybe it won't, fluid physics in microgravity is messed up. 

"It's a lot easier not to think about you when you're not here." Loki says and kisses Tony one last time before floating after her. How the guy doesn't have a raging hard-on, Tony doesn't- no wait, elbow to the face, nevermind. He really feels bad now and vows to make it up to Loki when he gets the chance.

Dinner isn't as quiet as Tony may have feared it would be, but Natasha doesn't mention finding them- for many obvious reasons including the whole live feed- and she doesn't act differently either. 

"Don't worry, Houston," she smiles as she puts a piece of tortilla into her mouth, "we'll put the extra body to work first thing in the morning." The bantering continues, they're all enough at ease to appear candid, but they're on for the camera. Loki with his long hair still flowing and the direct looks into the camera. Natasha and Tony bantering back and forth. It's practice for the events tomorrow and it feels close to natural, close to how they are in training. 

"Houston," he says with a mouth full of spinach, "this food is great! Request future Orion missions to be supplied with creamed spinach." There's laughter and Tony can practically hear Houston put interference into the feed delay. 

They're in such tight quarters, it's okay that he's so close to Loki they're almost touching and both of them flirt heavily with Maria who takes flight command halfway through dinner. Not that it truly matters. Yeah, there's still discrimination, but there have been openly queer astronauts. It's just not who they are, Tony thinks. Maybe they should be. Maybe he should just move in and attempt to dip Loki into a kiss. However, they'd had that discussion. Neither of them come from particularly open-minded families, well okay, Loki doesn't. Everyone Tony's ever considered family with the exception of Jarvis is dead and Jarvis knows like Natasha knows. Best friends only and all that. It's not a thought that should come up at random over dinner in space, but it does. They'd long decided it's no one else's business who they lo-

"Station," Maria's voice is on the comm, "well done, have a good night."

Natasha floats to sleeping quarters immediately after cleaning up her dinner leftovers and garbage. Both Tony and Loki take more time. It's been so long since they've been face to face and Tony's only on station for one full day before leaving the day after tomorrow. Granted, he leaves after six hours of being awake, but still, it's not a full day and it's suddenly not enough time. 

"Hey," he says and gently touches Loki's arm, "your jaw feel any better?"

"Luckily they bought the loose camera story."

"Not what I'm asking." He moves closer.

"Not here," Loki whispers. The cameras aren't on, but it's still a public space even if the comms are off. And the closest camera is just around the corner and that one is on all the time. Tony shouldn't feel rejected. He'd been just as supportive of their agreement as Loki. Yet he does and that's something he probably needs to talk over with Loki when they get a chance. Likely not until they're both back on Earth, which makes this even harder. 

"Sure," he finally says and it's as though the rampant- if disastrous- make-out session in the habitat module never happened. It sucks, but he's not going to argue. He can't get into Loki's head if Loki doesn't want to let him in. There are no stolen touches on the way to the habitat, no kisses hidden just out of range from the cameras. It's strictly straight forward business. Loki hands Tony a sleeping sack and tells him where the sleeping pills are should he need one what with ISS days and Orion days not overlapping well. 

Natasha is already wrapped up in her crew quarters. She's technically a cosmonaut, but with only two people, it doesn't make sense for her to sleep all the way in the Russian crew quarters. Her door is closed. They've all had a long day, and while exhausted and ready for sleep earlier, Tony doesn't think he can sleep just yet. That thought reaffirms itself when Loki slides into his bunk with merely wishing Tony a good night leaving him alone in dimmed lights. Maybe a sleeping pill is what he needs after all. He's been cleared for ten pills this flight and he's only taken three so far. Tomorrow, they will transfer the supplies between talking to school children and morning show hosts. It's a long day and if he spends his night worrying about Loki rather than the mission, he'd compromise the goal. 

He swallows the pill with a sip of water and makes a mental note to remove one from his kit in Orion tomorrow. It may just be his mind, but they taste bitter, chalkier, but as long as he gets a good night's sleep from it, he doesn't care. His bunk reads 'Anthony Stark' on the door. It's just a piece of tape with his name on it, but it's his bunk. Loki took time to write his name to make him feel welcome. He traces the letters and sighs. Pill or not, he's not going to sleep until he knows they're okay. He leaves his sack floating in the bunk and gently taps the door to Loki's. There's no immediate answer, but as he's about to put his hand on the handle to open the door himself, he is greeted by Loki's tired face. 

"Hey," Tony says and well, he doesn't have anything else, so he shrugs. "Sorry, couldn't sleep."

"I don't believe you've had enough time to try." Loki raises an eyebrow, but he does take Tony's hand and pulls him into the bunk. It's a little more than cozy, it's fucking tight. The bunks are not meant to be shared and a monitor digs into Tony's back until Loki shifts again and they manage to fit somewhat comfortably. Well, the monitor now digs into Tony's side rather than his spine. Comfort is relative and squashed into a single bunk with Loki, he can handle a poking monitor.

"No, but I think we both know why I'm here."

"To talk no doubt." Loki doesn't look at him in complete juxtaposition to the whole nearly devouring Tony whole before dinner.

"Yeah, I'm kinda getting mixed signals here." Tony finds a foothold and pushes himself up far enough that he can turn and look Loki in the eyes. "Like really fucking mixed signals."

"You're right." Loki sighs and Tony sets his jaw. He's not in the mood for bullshit. "I'm sorry."

"I don't think- wait, did you just apologize?"

"I did."

"Who are you and what have you done with Loki?"

"I'm an asshole."

"One sec, I'm gonna ask Romanov to record this." Tony reaches for the door in joke and Loki takes his hand and kisses his palm. "Mhm, never mind. Continue. I believe you said you're an asshole."

"I am." Loki gently brings Tony's palm to his lips again. "I've been here for months, and against common sense I had hoped you would be able to come here and share this incredible experience with me, and now that you're here, all I can think of is that you're leaving the day after tomorrow and it's not enough time."

Tony pauses. That's probably the sweetest, most romantic fucking thing Loki has said to him probably ever in their- shit, nearly four years together. And he's apologized for being a moody bastard, which also a fucking first and fuck, Tony feels like he has to blink a few times before he gets too emotional. He wants to tell Loki that while he feels the same, that's a dumb reason to be a dick. 

However, the world begins to feel quite long, surprisingly long. The grey wall behind Loki droops a little, no it droops a lot, melts in long drips that disappear into the void beneath them. He tries to look at Loki, but his eyes won't focus and droop shut as Tony's eye lids follow the wall. He opens his mouth to note that something may be wrong. That something isn't exactly right, but then, he feels an idea creep up his throat. There's an odd noise for a few moments until he realizes the noise is the idea, distorted by the laughter that escapes him. 

"Wha-what dosage are these?" He knows the answer in a brief, clear moment. It's not the same as the pills he has in his vehicle. Not at all and when Loki responds, it's more than twice his dose. He laughs again as Loki looks slightly concerned for a moment. "I'm gonna be so useless tomorrow morning." He feels the world tilt until he feels the monitor rest against his shoulders. Good enough. 

"You're so much trouble, Anthony," he hears before he drifts to sleep, only briefly aware of Loki moving to secure him as he sleeps.

Loki sighs and runs his fingers through Anthony's tightly cropped hair. It's a mistake that shouldn't have happened and in the end, it's his fault, not Anthony's. Up here, there isn't much room for error and Loki should have made sure. He sighs again and moves with care as he slips the sleeping bag over Anthony and tightens the straps and zippers so the man is secure and fastened to the wall for what no doubt will be a very long and thorough sleep. There isn't enough space for the two of them to sleep in here, as much as Loki would like to float beside Anthony. It would end with them bumping into each other all night and Loki would be the one who'd feel it and never end up sleeping. Slowly, he opens the door and leaves the bunk. He can spend a night in the one he's set aside for Anthony.

"Hey," he hears Natasha's voice, "glad you decided to keep It PG in there."

"I assumed you were asleep."

"Not for lack of trying, but I worry about my favourite pair of parakeets."

"Love birds?"

"No," she shakes her head and inverts herself, "love birds are pretty, loving, and gentle. You two are more like screeching, brightly coloured parakeets fighting for attention."

"I don't th-"

"You don't want to talk about it, I know." She lets her red hair out of its ponytail. "I get it. Privacy and all that, none of my business, but you forget that you're the one who told me. And I hate seeing trouble in paradise, or whatever equivalent you two get."

"That's-,” Loki pauses and looks back at his pod. “Not here.”

"Well, he won't hear us talking and if we leave the module to talk, you know we'll get a recommendation of sleeping pills which- what did you give him? I've taken the ones we have here and never felt as good as he sounded for a very brief time."

"I didn't- it's my fault, I didn't think to ask what dosage they gave him." Loki runs a hand over his face. "I should have known they would augment his dose."

"It happens, he-"

"It shouldn't. What if it had been something else? What if he had reacted worse than he did?" Loki knows he's off on a tangent. He knows his worry is for naught because nothing worse did happen. It's not his job to keep Anthony Stark safe all the time, but it's incredibly hard not to after all they've endured together. He takes another breath but stops and feels himself deflate. "I think it's getting to me. Not Anthony, just...everything."

"I am inclined to agree." Natasha sounds firm, but not altogether cold. "Look, we've been up here just the two of us for months. We're three weeks away from relief, it's the final stretch and believe me, I've sat in the cargo module screaming into a padding block to cope and I didn't have my secret ex-alcoholic boyfriend whisked away into a mission that could have been too much for him to handle without being able to do anything about it." She touches her and to his shoulder. "But he made it. He did great and maybe you're worrying too much."

"Perhaps," Loki's tired, too on edge to sleep without aid. He moves to find a half dose and swallows it dry. "I'll talk to medical tomorrow after breakfast." 

Natasha doesn't say anything else but nods and hugs him gently. For a brief moment, Loki allows himself to lean into the touch, but that's all he has left for tonight. He's exhausted, and after Natasha returns to her bunk, he floats to the cupola and watches the world pass by beneath him until he finally falls asleep, drifting in silence, finally at peace.


	3. Three

Loki wakes eight hours later to his brother's voice speaking softly over the comm, coaxing him awake. At least it isn't an air horn this time, or Rick Astley.

"Thor," he doesn't open his eyes just yet. He knows they'll be a little too dry just like his mouth and overall, he'll feel a little worse for wear for the next few hours. Sleeping pills are not how he prefers to get his sleep. He knows Thor is medical, but it's a conflict of interest for him to look after Loki's mental health. Not to mention that his mental health is none of his brother's damned business. Loki stretches and slowly opens his eyes. The world is too bright. They must have passed into sunrise recently. He orients himself and tries to shake the weights off his limbs. "I'm up, I'm up. Would an alarm not do?”

“Perhaps, brother, but your face, I wish I could help myself but alas.”

“And you’re stalling.” Loki stretches and rubs his eyes. He does not miss sleeping in a bed. In fact, it gets harder to sleep in a bed after he returns to Earth every time. But that matters little at the moment, he knows his brother is keeping him on an open- but not public- channel and he knows why. “You spoke to Natasha.”

“You know she had no choice.” Thor does sound concerned but he does not sound as though Natasha had told him everything. She would never betray Loki’s trust like that. He knows this. “There is no shame in it, brother. These are unprecedented circumstances and you should have been relieved some time ago.”

“You are not my counselor.” He doesn’t want to talk to Thor about this, especially since he isn’t sure he won’t mention Anthony. “Conflict of interest and all that, brother.”

Of course as soon he says that, Thor assures him that his counsellor is there and they have an entire hour together starting from that moment. He should have known, but alas. He knows he has to talk now, and he does, because after, he will feel better and NASA will be a lot less likely to toss his Mars training application as soon as they receive it. So he talks, he talks about his frustrations, about Anthony, about the frustrations that come with hiding their relationship. How fast the thoughts flow from his lips surprise him. Usually, he thinks well before he speaks, makes sure the words are right, but he’s felt like bursting for a while now, and it feels good to let it all go.

The hour passes quickly and all his counsellor says is to send her daily e-mails about how he’s doing and that she recommends he get a couple hours extra sleep once Orion leaves. She calls it a perfectly normal response to the stress he’s been experiencing and that she’s in fact surprised he and Natasha are holding up as well as they are. She clears him for duty and as soon as he has a quick breakfast, he joins Natasha as they unload the vehicle while Anthony is still asleep.

***

"Hey," Tony isn't particularly graceful when he tries to lean against the bulkhead leading to the Orion vehicle three hours later.

"Here to help me?" Loki unhooks the netting holding a crate into place.

"Heard we've got some stuff to put away."

"You brought it here." Loki smiles and pushes a small crate toward Tony as he loosens the one he's just untethered.

The thing about space, Loki has come to realize a long time ago, is that if you don't feel like doing something, you still have to do it. That's your job and your purpose. It's why you work 12-16 hours a day. He also knows that Tony knows this, but when he floats close for a third time both trying to cop a feel and to nibble Loki's ear just off camera, Loki draws the line. It doesn't take a lot of force to manoeuvre himself out of Tony's embrace and push the man into the Orion capsule, through command, storage, and straight into crew quarters which with the exception of what they've removed is also still storage, but they've made a pretty big dent which means there's enough space for Loki to hold Tony at arm's length.

"Would you pull yourself together?" He tries not to sound harsh, but they have a job to do, and the faster they finish it, the longer they can sleep in before Tony leaves. In the same bunk. Together. Loki wants at least that.

"I'd love to, but...," Tony trails off and takes Loki's hand and unceremoniously sucks his middle finger and fuck if that doesn't go straight to Loki's dick. In theory, he knows that despite the whole half-mast at all time thing, holding an erection in space can be tricky. Of course all the guys talk about it, various attempts at masturbation, and joining the 220-ish-mile high club, and all that, and as far as anyone knows, no one's managed to hook up in space, not successfully. But none of them are dating Tony Stark who casually oozes sex with every smile and makes him forget about professional conduct. Loki manages to not end up ricocheting off the wall when he grabs Tony and kisses him hard and deep as he reaches for the strap netting holding some of the payload in place.

"If I," he pushes Tony into the payload, it's padded and Tony gets the point and dips his feet through the holes in the netting to gain traction. "If I make you beg and scream, will you finally let me do my job?" He hopes the exasperation comes across, but with his cargos tenting like that, Loki doubts Tony even hears him.

"Really?" Natasha floats in without looking at them and removes another piece of payload. Tony freezes and looks at Loki who also doesn't move. "Okay boys, I'm going to put this container where it needs to go and then take a half hour break. If you don't manage by then, give up, it's not going to happen."

"Yes, ma’am," Tony grins. Loki doesn't look impressed, of course not. He's definitely still hard in his pants, but the sudden interruption has distracted him. "45 minutes to join- or rather create- the 220-mile high club. Got it."

"You're insufferable." Loki hisses when Tony runs his fingers across Loki's chest.

"I know." He kisses Loki slow, deliberate, aware how he gently rearranges their limbs and their position until Loki is pinned against the net. "But that's why you love me." With a smile, he hooks one of his feet under the net to stabilize his position. "And that's why you're letting me do this." Sliding his hands under Loki's shirt, he feels the skin there, kisses what he exposes as he pushes the fabric up.

"Anthony," Loki sighs and if they were on Earth, Tony would watch his head fall back, but they're not and adding weightlessness to sex? Well that's something Tony can definitely appreciate. He pushes the shirt away from them and drags his tongue across Loki's chest. Fuck, the noises he makes. Maybe they won't have to worry about the space limp because Tony feels like he's going to come in his pants before he'll get Loki's pants off.

Tony closes his eyes when he kisses Loki's navel. He finds his centre as his brain settles. This he knows. This he missed. This is home. Not their apartment in New York City, not the military base, not Loki's flat in Oslo. This is home, where Loki is. He dips his tongue and smiles when he hears Loki whimper above him. It's actually easier to be weightless to get Loki's pants off. For one, his knees don't get scraped up by carpet or wooden floor. There's no contorting, just them and nearly no exertion. He looks up when he pops the button to Loki's pants, catches the guy's blue-as-fuck eyes and keeps looking when he manages to pull down the zipper with his teeth.

"Show off," Loki smirks, but not for long. Tony makes sure of that when he scrapes his teeth across Loki's hip bone. He smiles when Loki hisses and bucks his hips. It's awkward, but Tony manages and the noise Loki makes when he wraps his lips around him, well, that's the noise Tony's missed the most.

***

"Ah great," Natasha floats beside the last can of peaches. It's empty. Tony can feel Loki tense beside him and continues to float a food parcel into its new spot in the eating area storage. "Can you turn down that glow a bit? I think Houston can tell what's going on without the cameras on."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Loki smiles politely and reaches for a food pack and floats it towards Tony.

"Chicken fajitas, nice." Tony smiles, too. It's a knowing smile. Natasha rolls her eyes at them.

Ten minutes later, they're having another meal together on camera for the public to view. It's comfortable, Tony feels less awkward than he did when he'd first arrived. It's not just the mind-blowing sex Loki and he managed to have in microgravity. It's more than that. It's knowing things are all right, that they're not just all right. They're great. He and Loki are great. They eat in peace. After that, they answer questions for a few hours, move most of the payload onto station, and when Houston finally bids them good night, all three of them are exhausted.

"Do I need to sleep in Zvezda or-"

"Don't worry," Tony smiles as he floats past Natasha to brush his teeth. "If we were going to make sure no one breaks our record for a while, you'd hear it in Zvezda." He gets another eye roll and a chuckle from Loki behind him.

"We have a full day tomorrow." Loki pauses and Tony wants to reach for him, but he doesn't want to be blatant. "We should get some sleep."

When Tony finishes brushing his teeth, Loki is in his bunk already, but the door is still open. An invitation. Of course he takes it. He shimmies in slowly and Loki pushes the laptop as far back as it goes to make room. He closes the door and wedges himself in the small space that is left in the bunk. They won't need straps or bags to hold them in place tonight. Feeling Loki's chest rise and fall, the soft rhythm of his breath as he wraps his arms around his shoulders, that's all Tony needs tonight. They don't need to talk about how he's leaving in less than 12 hours. How he has to return to Earth and wait two more months before they'll be on the same planet again. Three before he can see him again. This is the last time they have together to be close. That's all he wants tonight. To be close. He holds Loki tight and closes his eyes.

***

The next day is so hectic that there is no chance for sneaking off for a kiss. They have more question periods and a leaving ceremony. Natasha and Loki move the last of the payload while Tony begins to run through the procedures for leaving, securing everything in place, prepping his descent suit, all that takes most of the time. He still remembers to grab the camera he's brought to take pictures. There isn't much memory left after the hundreds of images he took of the moon, but he has one more to take.

"Hey Romanov, Odinson," he calls out, "selfie time!" They take one, the three of them floating together with big smiles on their faces. And after Natasha floats to the air lock controls, he insists on taking another with Loki while she's between them and the camera and he playfully plants a kiss on Loki's cheek.

"Get outta here, Stark, if you miss your window, you're stuck here for another week."

He almost contemplates making sure he misses that window, but it's not his mission. His mission is to come home today and that's what he has to do. There are more hugs and waves before he slides through the airlock into Orion and closes his side as Natasha closes theirs. He slips into his descent suit and hangs up the camera. It's back to the mission and with Houston on the other line, he straps himself in his chair.

"Hey Houston," he says with a smile into the camera, "let's bring this baby home."

 


	4. Epilogue

“Hey Odinson,” Natasha calls from the cupola. “Your boyfriend's through quarantine.”

“What?” Loki does a back flip and dives up to squeeze himself into the cupola as well. “Houston haven't sent word yet, have they?”

“Nope,” Natasha turns the laptop around to show Loki. “But he's back on social media. Guess that cat's out of the bag.”

Loki doesn't know if he should laugh or cry. He opts for laughing because there is the picture Tony took of them on every possible social media channel Tony has. Loki smiling brightly, hair floating, and Tony planting that damn kiss on his cheek. Could be anything if not for the caption:

  
**Astro Boys in Love.** _#spacehomos_

 

***

 

“You know, you caused a lot of media fire for us, Stark.” Maria looks up from the paperwork in front of her. “But I want you to now it's not a publicity nightmare. I'm glad you’re happy, all of us are. And we're happy you're back.”

“That's why you'll accept it.” Tony sits down in the chair across from her desk and crosses his leg. “That's the kind of media buzz, the kind of story you want. The amount of people suddenly interested in the Mars program? Through the roof and you know that's us.”

“We haven't even announced the Mars training program yet.”

“Worst kept secret you have. Romanov and Odinson are having bets on which one of them will recover fastest to hand in their application first.”

“So you thought you'd beat them to the punch?” Maria raises and eyebrow and flips through the binder he's put onto her desk. “How'd you even get ahold of this?”

“Gotta have my secrets.”

“And you don't think there's conflict of interest here?”

“No guarantee we'll both make it. Besides, it's Mars. There will be at least a dozen astronauts coming out of retirement for this. Whatever you throw at me, I'll overcome it.”

“All right, fine,” she closes the binder. “I accept your application to the Mars Training Program.”

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> An immense thank you to [fullofleaves](http://archiveofourown.org/users/fullofleaves) who ended up giving this crazy thing it's bloody title with requesting I incorporate a #spacehomos selfie.


End file.
